« Worst Blind Date Part 1 · 04.15.04 »

I was going to start this entry out by complaining about my job but I shouldn’t complain considering that’s what half of the US population does. In fact, whenever i hear about people complaining about their jobs, i think of this guy i went out on a blind date with. And if i start this dating story i might as well follow it up with other disastrous dating stories cause god knows i have a ton. In fact, if i see a friend of mine for the first time in a while, their first question is, "Any Dating Stories?" I am the queen of dating stories.

Well Mr. Job Hater was the worst blind date i ever had. And when i say worse i mean worse than having a date who has nothing to say and it’s just complete awkward silences. Worse than a date who doesn’t pay. Worse than a date who dresses so badly he makes Andy Dick look good. This was the motherload of all bad blind dates.

I’ll try to make this as short and sweet as possible.

To start, i got this guy’s number through my mom’s friend’s boss. Too complicated to get into but let’s just say when a MOM wants to set you up with her single son, RUUUUNNN! That’s code for: My gay son needs a woman since i’m in denial about his sexual orientation or My son is such a loser that i’m desperate to set him up with anyone remotely good looking.

I have decided that the latter is where this mother fit in.

So needless to say i get his number, he got mine...He was 23 like me at the time i believe. But he was 2 months younger. Not a biggie but i always made it a point not to date anyone younger than me.

He calls on a Monday. His name is Andre and yes that’s his real name and no i don’t care if he ever reads this. Chances are he wouldn’t even realize this story is about him.

So we talk on the phone. The guy SOUNDS decent. I mean his voice sounds decent. I have learned by now that voice makes no difference a man’s personality. They could still be a psychopath no matter how good they sound.

The second thing i noticed about this guy is that he had a huuuummmongous ego. But little self esteem. Do you know the type? This is the type of guy who complained about the FAT women who he had to work with at an insurance place where he was the computer geek and how it was completley painful and ridiculous. But his low self esteem was evident when i actually met him in person which i will get to in Part 2.

Our first phone conversation went rather well considering we found out we went to the same college and he even dated my roommate at the time. So of course i called her up to get the scoop on his looks. She said she vaguely remembered him but did remember him being way too short for her. So he was probably close to 5’6. Not a big deal but i was a little disappointed in that.

So after a two hour long phone convo, we hang up and decide to make plans for Friday night. I’m thinking this ends the phone convos but i was sorely mistaken.

He called again, the next day, at my work. Now at the time i had a very boring job so it’s possible i gave him my work number even though i don’t remember it. During this particular conversation he asked the worst question a man can ask a woman. Can you guess what it is? Yes, ladies, he asked me how much i weighed. (Pauses for collective gasp).

Can you believe that? And what’s worse is i actually told him. Well, i gave him a range after my initial shock wore off.

I even told him, “You never ask a woman how much she weighs.”

His repsonse was: “Oh sorry.” Jackass. So i guess he was satisified with the range answer. If i had had any balls at the time i would have hung up on the jerk. Or i would have lied and told him i weighed 300 just to get a reaction.

That was Tuesday. He called again on wednesday and I remember this was the conversation where it was evident i was going to be having a really “interesting” date with this guy. He told me three different things which made me want to hurl.

1. “I want to be retired by the time i’m 35.”

2. “My parents say i should just buy what i want as long as i have the money.”

3. “I never leave the house with less than $800 in my wallet.”


Exactly my reaction.

This kid was unbelievabley oozing with attitude and a chip on his shoulder the size of the grand canyon. And for a 23 year old that is bad.

Thursday he called again: By this time i was sick of the kid and had already told everyone at work about him.

I even had a plan of action in case i wanted to sneak out early.

During the unescapable phone convo he made the remark of all remarks: “Wouldn’t it be funny if i hired a midget to come pick you up and pretend it was me? Wouldn’t that just be hilarious???!”

Me: Dead silence and then..”Umm, no it wouldn’t.”

Andre: “Yeah you’re right, you’d probably laugh at the midget and make fun of him and that would be sad.”

That was the last straw as far as unbelievable quotes go so i decided to just get the date over with and bite my tongue and be a good girl and give this guy a nice night (no not THAT nice) and just go with the flow.

End of PArt 1. Check out the entry tomorrow to find out how the actual date went. 0 comments so far

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