Party Etiquette 04.24.04

It would help if i could spell etiquette correctly but i'm too tired to look it up.

So just got back from a party at a friends house. And by party i mean a bunch of drunk people with a hawaiian theme. Yes that's right this party had a theme. I'll admit i think we're a little too old for theme parties (unless it's like an orgy or something) so i wasn't really looking forward to going.

But once i got there, there was enough entertainment provided by my drunk friends to keep me amused for the 2 hours i managed to stay.

First of all the hostess was drunk which is never a bad thing in my opinion. She was walking around (well i use the term "walking" loosely here) yelling and laughing and dancing. She sat on a plastic cup filled with beer which made a nice stain on her pants and got a good laugh out of all who were there to witness it.

Then the condoms came out. I got exciting thinking an orgy might still happen but alas, they were just blown up into balloons and then thrown randomly around the house.

But the best part of the night was when one of our friends husbands went to the bathroom. Now help me out on this one, isn't it proper etiquette if you have to take a shit at a party, to use the UPSTAIRS bathroom? Or the bathroom that is not the main party bathroom so as not to stink up the entire downstairs area? Yeah well her hubby, we'll call him Fat Bastard, cause that's what he is, decided to take a giant shit in the hallway bathroom. I swear to G, when that door opened up and he walked out i thought i was near death. I think my life flashed before my eyes, or maybe that was just the hostess flashing her boobs at me as she trampled into the kitchen. Either way i was sure i was a goner. Fortunately, someone else went into the bathroom and closed the door, preventing the foul stench from getting any further into my nostrils and infesting it's way into my lungs.

I know i wasn't the only one who felt this way because all 4 of us that were around the bathroom door all looked at each other like, "Did that just happen? Am i smelling that?"

Needless to say Fat Bastard and his wife left shortly afterward. Thanks buddy. Thanks for leaving your scent with the rest of us to enjoy.

Bastard.

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