The Summer Slump 06.28.04

Do you live in Chicago? Were you driving behind me last night? Was that you with the Michigan plates tailing my ass? I realize living in Chicago you can never drive fast enough. No, not even on the bridge with construction in one lane where the speed limit posted is 35mph. I'm going 60!! How much faster do you want me to go? Stupid Michiganer.

Anyways, I came back last night from Cleveland to a bunch of gays.

I love driving through my neighborhood at 11 at night and almost running over a pack of fags. A pack of fags. Now that has a nice ring to it.

I'm using derogatory terms on purpose here, I have gay friends. Trying to be funny.

I can see you're not laughing. I'll stop.

Anyways, it looks like i missed yet another fun filled rainbow wearing weekend in Chicago but I had a good time at home with my family and friends.

Well, sort of a good time. I guess it was okay. I think i drove more during this trip and spent more time in the car than i did actually in the presence of any other person. (Cue the melodramatic

Oh you want sappy? I got more.

So not only is it depressing to come home and see all your friends with their significant others, that's bad enough right? But as luck would have it, #4 from this entry reared it's ugly head.

And why is that girls only ask me that question? I'll tell you why. Because chicks are insecure.

Dammit, as soon as i start dating someone i'm going to ask every girl i come in contact with "Do you have a boyfriend? No? Well guess what, I DO!"

I did manage to impress some guys with my sports knowledge. All I mentioned was Belliard is really coming through for the Indians and one guy asked me if i was married because it sounds like I've been talking to a husband who just talks sports all day. He said i had the lingo down and everything. Just cause i know what a DL is? And only two guys managed to finish under par in the U.S. Open? And the Cavs got some guy named Luke in the draft who shoots 40% from the 3-point line? HELLO! Girls watch Sportscenter too you know.

Or am i the only one?

Maybe joecartoon and i should hook up since he's such a manly man. ;)

Believe me i've tried dating the guy who knows nothing about sports and it doesn't work. Poetry and paintings do nothing for me.

In other news, I saw Dodgeball (NOT my idea). It was okay but unless you worship the ground that Ben Stiller walks on, I would wait for the rental. Not bad but they did tend to show most of the funnier parts in the previews.

It did however, make me want to go out and play Dodgeball.

Did anyone play that in school? I must have a mental block because i swear i don't remember playing that ever although my sister insists we did in grade school. I think i remember playing it a couple times and hoping i'd get hit first so i could just sit out the rest of the game.

I DO remember Red Rover and being TERRRIFIED of getting someone slammed into me during that game. Anyone else relate? You got the fat kid coming right at you because you're the smallest girl and hey, just aim for her right? That scarred me for life.

I can still feel the burning.

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