The bird has flown the coop 06.30.04

Attention! Attention! Important announcement:

My roommate left Monday night for Spain until August 7th. Nice graduation gift.

Finally I can walk around the apartment naked. Sanctuary! Sanctuary!

(Kidding about the naked part...I have very thin blinds and very nosy neighbors.)

Speaking of nudity, I did catch her once cooking eggs in nothing but her underwear. She went sprinting into the living room when she saw i was coming home, realized it was just me and not some random person breaking into the apartment, and continued to cook.

Okay, I'm all about being yourself around other chicks, but could you put a shirt on or something? She must have sensed some uneasiness so she went to put some clothes on.

She offered me some eggs....i turned her down.

I mean, isn't there something weird about eating food cooked by someone with no clothes on? I won't even mention the possibilities of what I could find in my food from that situation.

Some chicks are like that though. Just a few days after she moved in she was showing me "the cutest pair of underwear" that she had. She had them ON though. Okay no big whoop but do you have to drop your pants while i'm eating dinner and watching tv?

If you're a guy, okay that's cool but you're a chick and i'm not a lesbian so please...refrain.

She's been gone less than 2 days and i've never been happier or more relaxed. Let me make it clear I actually get along well with the roomie...She just doesn't understand what clean dishes are. She hasn't learned that it's not sanitary to leave milk in a glass overnight until it hardens and you can't get it out of said glass with a knife. (That was her going away present to me. I actually left her a note saying "This is absolutely disgusting...by the way you owe me $18 for bills." ) And who out there leaves milk in a glass in the fridge?

Like let's say you have milk and halfway through you think to yourself, "Gosh, this is too much milk I can't finish it. But i don't want to spill it out so i'll put it in the fridge." Does that even work? Does it really stay fresh? And if you could see the amount of milk that is leftover you would seriously laugh. It's less than an inch of milk. Kinda strange if you ask me. Is there really a shortage of milk in this world that you can't spill it out?

But most importantly, she hasn't learned what every roommate knows, that Common Areas Are To Be Kept Clean.

I spent last night cleaning the living room of all her crap and cleaned out the fridge and threw away any old food from her. She admits she's a packrat but here I thought she keeps old photos and ticket stubs from concerts. I didn't realize it also applies to food.

I ended up throwing away an open can of olives, a container of shrooms, (the kind you EAT, not get stoned with although i wouldn't be surprised if i found some of them too), molded cheese, some unknown substance in a clear container..perhaps it was once chopped up onions?, and a leftover sandwich she started to eat on Sunday and i guess just didn't want to finish. What is it with her? Trash can phobia? I'm thinking she had the kind of parents who made her eat everything on her plate and now she's paranoid she's going to get punished if she throws away any uneaten food.

Well, no more bitching about the roommate for at least a month.

Don't worry, i'll find something else to complain about in the meantime.

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