Tennis anyone? 06.24.04

I have learned a few things in the past 24 hours:

1. People who play tennis are very entertaining.

2. Tennis is a lot harder than it looks.

3. Philipino men are the most calm people in the world.

I monitored tennis last night for CSSC. Easiest job in the world. Just watch men play tennis and collect the scores at the end.

We only have 2 courts reserved and the Park District doesn't put up a sign that says these courts are reserved so I end up having to kick people off the courts most of the time.

This results in old men (because old men play tennis alot i guess) yelling at me and calling me names like "missy" and "girlie." And screaming in my face. But nothing I can't handle.

This one guy HATES me. He sees me every week walk onto the court and i guess the first time i did it I unknowingly interrupted his game which i guess is the cardinal rule of tennis that is not to be broken. Yeah i'm a good 20 feet away from where the court ends but it was enough of a distraction to warrant a "Oh Jesus, it's HER again!" from him.

He's so short and old that it makes me laugh. Which makes him hate me even more.

Needless to say these old men are not my biggest fans.

Yesterday though was most entertaining.

I heard the world's longest arguement ever!

Some dude wanders onto the court behind us telling the two men already playing on the court to get off and that it's his turn. I think the unspoken rule is that they have an hour on the court to play and supposedly these two guys broke that rule and their time was up.

Well the two players didn't take too kindly to this "asshole" (their words, not mine) coming onto their court telling them where to go and what resulted was the longest arguement about tennis in the history of arguements..am i even spelling arguement correctly?

Anyways, some snippets of the fight:

"If I knew I wasn't going to jail I'd kick your ass right now. I'd drop you man! Drop you!"

"I'm staying right here on this court as long as you stay. I'm going to follow you on every court you want to play on to make sure you don't get to play at all tonight man!"

"Fuck you asshole, we were here first!"

"Just take one shot at me asshole, take one shot, I dare ya!"

"What the hell's the matter with you you dipshit!? Can't you read the sign?"

Which brings me to my last point.

There is one guy in the league who is Philipino. After the ENTIRE tennis complex heard every word of this exchange, he turned around and said in the most calming voice, "Guys, chill out. It's just tennis."

They didn't respond. But the one guy did manage to walk off the court eventually and accept his defeat.

These were actually young men who were fighting which was almost disappointing because an old man fight would have been much better.

Grumpy old men fighting about tennis. That would have been classic.

Is that the end of the story?

Sadly, it is. 0 comments so far


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