I'm okay though. I mean, towards the end she was completely out of it and couldn't breathe. But she died very peacefully and my mom and aunt were there. It was nice because she got a lot of visitors the during the day. The nurses said she only had about 24 hours so a lot of relatives and friends came to see her. She was in a coma-like state but my mom would announce whenever anyone would come in the door and say, "Mom, so and so is here to see you." So she knew exactly what was going on around her.
I talked to her on the phone and they said she reacted when she heard my voice. Of course she couldn't talk but at least i got to say a few words to her before she passed.
Today we went through and found a bunch of pictures for her collage for the wake. My cousin also made a portrait of her (she's a great artist) and luckily Grandma saw it before she died. We think she liked it of course.
So the wake is tomorrow and the funeral the day after and then i go back to chicago.
I didnt really tell any of my friends (the one's here at home) just the ones in Chicago. I don't know why, i guess i handle grief differently than most people. Like i haven't really cried yet but it's mainly because i'm not that sad. Maybe because i haven't SEEN her yet and when i see her in the casket i might get said i suppose.
Everyone says i'm the weird one when it comes to death because im just not a big crier. I don't know why i just don't like to get emotional in front of people.
This is different than when my grandpa died. With him i was relieved because he was sufferring with Alzheimer's. He had that horrible disease for 4 years. That is 4 years too many to suffer with it in my opinion. I'd rather have Cancer. I swear if i have alzheimers when i get old i want someone to shoot me because it's just painful to watch. It's painful for everyone else to see someone slowly lose their mind. Not fun.
Well, i'm tired and i have to be up early tomorrow so i'll update when i get back to chicago.
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