Ramones Reunion Nearly Complete 09.27.04

(I told you I was just going to steal headlines from The Onion. Makes thinking of a title a whole lot easier, doesn't it?)

It's nearly the end of the month and as usual, I'm almost out of money. I'm trying my damndest to figure out how to cut corners, like "Do I really need to do laundry this week?" I'm going home in 13 days and I can take my laundry there to do it for free (Thanks Mommmy). I actually figured out 13 outfits I can wear that would be "mostly clean." That's sad.

But what's worse when you have no money is that it makes drinking alcohol most difficult. Especially since I just discovered some good beer. I'm more of a liquor drinker so "good tasting beer" is usually an oxymoron in my eyes. But recently, I tried a few of these "berry lager" types and even a Belgium beer (forget the name) but it was actually delicious. A delicous beer! I didn't think it was possible.
Speaking of pimps, Mr. bigpimpinmba added me as a favorite. Holy crap! I feel honored. Especially since the last few entries have been mediocre at best. I feel like the class geek who just got voted Prom Queen. Nice.

Speaking of bigpimpinmba, I noticed in his last entry he mentioned the guilty pleasure of Reality Tv. I can honestly say that I do watch my fair share of these shows. I even caught myself watching The Surreal Life but quickly changed the channel after realizing the suckitude of this show. Come on, a chick from the first season of American Idol is on there. What does that tell you?
Flava Flav is also on the show and reminds me of this security guard that works in my building. He also can't pronounce a word in the English language. I'm sorry, I can't understand a word this guy says. Every time he talks I get the Pulp Fiction Samuel L. Jackson line in my head: "English Mother Fucker Do You Speak It!?!?"

Example: "Hey Michelle?"
(Okay this part I understand)
"Could you hebusahsk a paper frealk?"
Me: "What?"
Him: "Could you sheby trash paper axed?"
Me: "Uhh..throw something away for you? Yeah, okay."

So he comes in the door and he says, "I jus' need this a fax."
Apparently "fax" and "trash" are synonyms to him. I almost wanted to throw it in the garbage, take it out, hand it back to him and say "Okay it's faxed," just to see if he'd believe me.
Maybe even add some " beep beep beep kichhhhssshhhhh beeeeeeep" sounds in there to confuse the hell out of him.

Now, normally, security guards mind their own business and don't strike up conversations with the tenants right? I mean, the occasional "Good Morning," "Have a good night" is fine with me but this dude takes it to the the next level. He asks for food, pop, and even asked for a wake up call.
Yes, a wake up call. Apparently sitting on his ass is just too damn hard and he can't quite stay awake. Looks like you picked the wrong career choice my friend.
The fact that he actually called me at the front desk instead of walking the two feet to my door tells you how incredibly lazy he is.
He even asked one our employees to come sit at the desk for 10 minutes while he went outside to smoke. (Obviously they said no.)
I even went so far as to tell the head security guard about how much we all can't stand the guy, and even though he agreed, he said he'd rather have him here instead of one of the other guys they have working for them.
The other guys are worse? By worse I have to assume they sleep at the desk for 4 hours instead of 3.

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