My arm hairs are stinging. 07.19.04

Top 5 Rules for Grilling:

1. When turning on the gas, stop turning after 4 or 5 complete turns. Not 10.

2. When the ignitor thingie doesn't work, and you have to light paper on fire to get it to start, do not point the lit paper in the direction of one huge ass flame.

3. When trying to see the gas tank in the dark, it is not wise to use a lighter to see.

4. When "almost" being caught on fire, it is best to laugh hysterically, preferably on the ground.

5. When "almost" being caught on fire a second time, it is not so much funny as it is scary. Proceed to drink more beer to forget about almost becoming cinged in front of a dozen people.

So needless to say a good time was had by all at my BBQ. All the food was eaten and the beer was drunk. My kitchen sink looks like a fruit salad gone wrong and some hamburger juice was used to clean most of the dishes. I'll get to them tonight.

I pretty much just slept all day Sunday with the exception of Sunday morning when I monitored Softball at Lincoln Park. What a complete waste of time. But i got paid to tell stupid people, "Field nubmer 2 is that one, the one with the sign that says Field 2."

But most of the guys were good-looking so it gave me something to stare at.

And i get paid so I can't complain.

I just sat on my fat ass and watched "I love the 90's" which i'm guessing a lot of hungover people did yesterday.

Man, that british guy is hilarious!!! That guy from the Drew Carey show? Besides Hal Sparks and Michael Ian Black, he is easily the best with the one-liners. His impression of Hugh Grant getting caught with the prostitute is so dead-on. A must see.

And I guess Susan Powter grew her hair back. Good lord. Stop the Insanity, indeed.

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