Ritalin works wonders my dear. 07.30.04

I think Bally's needs to introduce a new policy at their gym.

"No Freaky Freaks Allowed."

I swear the guy that came in this morning forgot to take his meds.

It's never a good sign when you have your head phones on, Bally's has their music on, and you can *still* hear someone grunting and singing while doing reps.

At first I thought maybe he was slow or mentally handicapped, but as it turns out, he's just a giant jackass.

The kind that love, crave, must have attention focused on them at all times. You know the type.

I don't know what this guy's problem was but he took off his shoes (sandals) and was jogging on the treadmill, singing and talking to himself in Cornholio language. If you don't know Cornholio language than you haven't seen Beavis and Butthead and therefore, you suck.

But i digress.

He then decided it was a good time to stomp very hard on the treadmill while running. SO hard in fact that everyone in the gym (which wasn't alot considering it was 6AM) turned to look just what the hell was going on.

Then, the saddest yet funniest thing happened....

He fell off the treadmill. You know, like in movies or tv shows when the person wasn't running fast enough and falls on their ass.

Yeah..that.

Well it was both funny and sad because, well, I think he did it on purpose. He got up and proceeded to talk to whoever was around and laugh his ass off at himself, spouting things like, "Nice move slick," and "Wow, that was crazy wasn't it?"

It's a treadmill. How hard is it to STAY ON?

So you would think after falling on his ass he would either A. Leave the gym because he just made a complete fool of himself or B. Laugh it off and get back on.

He did neither. He did C. Go around the gym and try every other machine while making poses in the mirror and singing/talking/grunting to himself.

THEN, he goes up to the track where I was working out and took a medicine ball and proceeded to bounce it around the track like a basketball (which is not its function obviously).

Then he took a Resist-a-Ball (the big ones people use to work on their abs) and bounced and kicked that one around the track and had this smile on his face like a kid in a candy store.

I was seriously waiting for him to get kicked out.

By the way, it figures the only Cubs game I go to this season was in Milwaukee and we freakin lost! The place was absolutely packed with Cubs fans. I think i saw like, 2 Brewers fans.

And we lost.

Yet we won the rest of the games while we were there.

Thanks alot Cubs.

BUT, the rumor is that we're getting Nomar for Clement and Gonzo so that makes me a happy camper if it ever happens. Which, knowing the Cubs, it probably won't. So i shouldn't even bother getting my hopes up.

Off to see The Village starring my future husband, Joaquin Phoenix. YUM.

Till Monday folks.

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